I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
