Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
