We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
