I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
