Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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