Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
