Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
