Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize