shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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