He disabled his match.com account in front of me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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