he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
