and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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