I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
