did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize