I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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