im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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