I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
