I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
