Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
