ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
