Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
