I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize