see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
