dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
