Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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