I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
