Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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