They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
