i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
