We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
