im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
