you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Ladies don't puke and tell
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize