i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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