I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize