Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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