Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize