Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
