We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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