We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
