so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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