Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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