i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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