I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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