grandma shit on top of the toilet
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
