Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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