I'm going to jail i love you
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
