Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
