it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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