before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
