That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
