At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize