that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
