she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
