gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I'm like, not good at living.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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