Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
