STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
