Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
