Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
