No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
