obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
