I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
