well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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