this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
