Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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